A Rookie Mom's Guide To Fighting Baby Blues

August 21, 2015
Experts on the topic says that almost all expectant mothers will experience Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression (PPD) at some point during or after their pregnancy. And it is completely and 100% normal.

Is it? I find it hard to believe that it is normal. I am one of the unlucky ones who went through and still going through baby blues. When I was pregnant, I was always happy, contented and thought PPD was a myth. But a few days after I gave birth, sudden surge of emotions rushed in and I did not know what happened to me. Baby blues and PPD are scary, I find it very difficult to accept that what I was going through is normal. At some point, it seemed like it's going to be forever, like there's no escape and I will never going to be the same again.

I gave up a lot of things when I found out that I was pregnant, I was not ready to be a mother yet and I was only 24 years old, my career was soaring and I was just starting to live out my life. I was falling deeply into the depression and it seemed like I cannot do anything about it.
Some days are better and some days seemed like darkness ate my soul away.

Let me share with you my own personal tips on how to cope with Baby Blues and PPD:

  1. Do not accept that it is normal. Depression is not normal, seeing a psychiatrist is not normal. Accepting that it is normal may just put you deeper into the depression and will make you accept that everything you think about negatively is normal. Stop! Believe that what you are going through will eventually end and things will be better at some point.
  2. Identify what causes your depression. We think differently. Our problems and life issues are also different but we understand each other when we talk about how difficult it is to take care of a new baby and getting stressed about it is acceptable and normal. But, what are the other issues that's causing your depression that is not about your baby? 
    • Here's mine:
      • (a) I started a family at a young age and I was not ready
      • (b) Me and my husband were not financially ready to raise a child
      • (c) I gave up my career for my baby, what happens to me now?
      • (d) I need to move out of my mom's house and be separated to her and my sisters
      • (e) I will be moving to my in-laws until such time comes that we will be ready on our own, when will that happen? 
    • Once you identified your own issues, it's time to try and slowly solve the things that is causing your anxiety or better yet, tweak your mind into thinking positively. (a) I have known others who have started a family much younger than I am and they did just fine. Time will come that I too will be okay just like them. (b) We are average and my husband is earning just enough for now. We will be able to save money for Arya's needs and if there is an emergency, we have relatives that will be here to help us. (c) It's not going to be forever and I chose not to be a housewife, I started working online 4-hours a day to earn extra money. Fortunately, by the January of 2016, I will be back in the corporate world living a job position that I have always wanted. (d) Everyone moves out of their parents' house once they start a family. It's not like I'm going to see them anymore, just less often but they can always visit me whenever and I can always hangout with them too. (e) Again, it's just temporary and not forever. They have been really helpful with me and Arya and I am so grateful that they are here to guide us.
  3. Join support group if that can help you be better. Support groups is not for everyone but some women may feel comfortable if they can find others who can relate to their situation. I am an admin of a motherhood group in Facebook and I find it really helpful that there are other mothers who are going through the same situation as I am. I am very open and loves exchanging stories and experiences with them. Honestly, support groups keeps me sane.
  4. Get your husband or partner involved. Men will not understand how crazy and difficult its is for us to go through with this but they can be the best person to give us support at a time like this. Times may come that you will get angry to your partner, maybe even feel disgust or feel that everything is unfair because you're the only one who is having the difficult time. Relax, chances are he is tired and stressed just like you, it's just that he knows how to deal with the situation and handles his emotion well.
  5. Go out. Seriously, go out.  Do you feel suffocated and freedom seemed like closed its doors on your face? Just go. You need fresh air, you need to see other faces. You don't need to lock yourself in the bathroom or in your room together with your baby. You need a time out too and you deserve it!
  6. Keep a diary or journal. Writing soothes me, writing my thoughts and feelings helps me release my body's tension and makes me more relaxed.
  7. Find something or someone familiar. When you are left alone with your baby in a new environment, moments will come that you will go crazy. Actually, most moments will be crazy. Having something or someone familiar around you, could be your pet, a favorite pillow, or even a friend may lessen the stress and anxiety that you are feeling.
  8. When in doubt, sleep is the answer. We all get tired for the first few weeks or months when our new baby is here. Having sleepless nights is completely normal. I encourage you to have someone around to take care of your baby so you can sleep. They say sleep when the baby is sleeping, you can do that too but that did not work for me. Get some help.
  9. Cry it out. Yes, you can cry and I encourage you to do so. It will definitely make you feel better and it is actually good for you.
  10. Enjoy your new baby. It's not going to be easy to enjoy your little one when you're depressed but he/she will only be a baby once. They grow everyday and you're missing moments because of what you are feeling. Focus on the happy side and you'll find that you'll escape depression without even noticing it.
A day will finally come that you will get better, you will learn how to do things and will realize that this is not going to be forever. Coming out from baby blues or PPD will not be easy, some days you feel great and some days you'll feel so miserable. Whatever happens, don't jump off a building or never ever hang yourself, and flushing your new baby in the toilet is not an option too. Just relax and let every day go along.

Rookie Mommy PH - On to recovery!
1 comment on "A Rookie Mom's Guide To Fighting Baby Blues"
  1. Awww sweetie. I know you refuse to believe it but post partum depression is normal and completely acceptable. You won't always feel like this, trust me I have a lot of titas and mothers to ask. First step in healing is acceptance. I'm not a mother and it's still hard for me personally to follow my own advice but it's true. That doesn't mean that it won't ever go away or it'll just stay like that. I'm here for you okay? All I wanna say is I love you. You're strong. You're confident. You're caring. You're smart. You're empathetic. And you're one of my closest friends. :) It's okay to break down. That's why you have friends and family. Kung kailangan mo ng tough-love bibigay ko rin sayo yan, but not for this topic. :) Heart heart heart.