How To Tell Your Mom That You Are (unexpectedly) Pregnant

November 27, 2014
I was in my room, crying, holding on to my phone, waiting for the moment to Viber my mom and tell her that I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive.




Here in the Philippines we always try to be more conservative. It is and will always be a sin to God and everyone else to get pregnant before being married. It is alarming that we are already seeing a high rate of teen pregnancy and unwanted pregnancies in the country. But I have to admit I am no teen, but still young to be pregnant at 24.

When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't hesitate to tell my mom immediately. I mean, who am I supposed to tell it to other than my mom? Some may opt to tell their siblings or closest friends first but for me, my mom need to be the first one to know. No matter how bad she takes it.

There is really no easy way to do it. Unless you are really expecting and super happy about finding out that you are pregnant. You just have to say it honestly and as fast as you can. Fast is always good. It lets you get it off from your chest immediately.

Here's what I did:

1. Don't hesitate

Your mom will be angry that's for sure. She'll probably curse you and tell you to leave house or even disown you. But you have to remember one thing, she is still your mom and you are her daughter. That will never change. Family is family and you need her now more than ever.

My mom is working in a different country so our only means of fast communication is thru Viber. 

2. Be completely and 100% honest of how you feel

Now is not really a good time to be brave and confident. Tell her how you really feel. Are you scared? What are you thinking? What crazy ideas do you have? What is your plan? How much help do you need from her? Your mom might just ignore you but continue talking to her and tell her everything that you need to say.

I told my mom how scared I am. That I am considering to abort the baby. I even asked her if she thought of the same thing when she was carrying me. She ignored me for more than an hour...

3. Apologize

Everyone forgives. Maybe not as fast as you want but they do.

I told my mom how sorry I am. I know I disappointed her. I am so grateful that I was able to finish college before this happened and even grateful and lucky that I always find it easy to get a job.

4. Don't rush her to reply

Your mom may need a little time to absorb all the things that you said. After all, it is twice as shocking to her than to you when you told her you are pregnant.

My mom ignored me for a couple of hours but she did called me afterwards. She didn't curse at me, instead she told me to plan things ahead with my partner, that abortion is not an option, that I am capable to raising a child and she never thought of aborting me when she found out she was going to have me.

5. Thank your mom for being there

After all the drama, tell her how thankful you are that she is there willing to help you cope with the changes and to give you an advice on things that you need to know about early motherhood.

I told my mom how much I love her and thanked  her. I know how broken my mom is but I also know how strong she is and I also do know that she was able to pass it on to me.

Whoever you feel like telling to first that you are pregnant, consider your mom to be the first person to know. Tell her as soon as you can. Because no matter how bad she might feel, no matter how broken she will be, she will still love and accept you. 

My mom didn't talk to me for quite some time. But she did warm up and helped me out with my cravings and how to properly take care of myself. We talked about my marriage plans, being a young mom, and all that things I was not ready to talked about. She told me that she is still in denial stage about me getting married and having a child. But still, she says she'll always be here to guide me.

Xoxo,
Rookie Mommy PH - I'm 24 and pregnant

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